Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
operation have a gay friend backfired
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
