Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
