we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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