I hate all girls vehemently.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
