I CAN MOONWALK!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize