Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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