I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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