Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
