I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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