Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This is classic penis vs brain.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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