shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
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