Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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