I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
