Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
