sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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