Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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