Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
