My first STD was from a foam party
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
