fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
