He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
