Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
