I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
