would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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