and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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