so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
