is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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