come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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