That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
