is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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