Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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