i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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