i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
