I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
