one word: firstdatebathroomanal
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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