i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
