It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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