omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
