'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
