9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
