shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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