Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
