you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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