Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize