Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
