Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
