where am i from again
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
