also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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