Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
