Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
