sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
