i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
