i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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