I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize