Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
