you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
