Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
