saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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