he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
