perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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