this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do vagina's smell?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
