cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize