the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
