why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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