Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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